The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
