Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
either way he was missing a nipple.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
