Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
