rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
