Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
