Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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