You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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