i already hear my dad disowning me
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
