i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
