I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
