I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
