just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
