I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
