on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
We got so high we made milksteak
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
