Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
