i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
