I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
