I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
