When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
