After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
