do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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