you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
