I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize
