no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
