Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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