Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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