If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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