I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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