so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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