i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Did we literally take a cab across the street
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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