rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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