okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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