Having a random hookup so left but love u
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
