I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
