Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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