Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
