I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Randomize
