Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize