apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
