Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
