I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
