his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
