im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
