There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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