we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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