I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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