:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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