she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
