the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
