First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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