he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I licked your asshole in confidence.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
