I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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