and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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