If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
