I hate your face
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
