Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize