the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I need to calm my uterus...
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
