I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
