What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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