One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I think a kid would responsible me up
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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