he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
