I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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