i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
